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I just want to be okay

4/20/2022

 
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I'm not asking for much. I want to feel "right." I want to be okay. Not the usual crazy, overwhelmed feeling. Don't we want to feel "right" within ourselves? When was the last time you felt like you were operating on all cylinders - like everything was clicking? 

I heard a podcast with Michael Singer today, and it hit just the right nerve. He spoke about the cause behind the stress that many of us feel. It is not due to living in a technologically-based society nor our polarizing politics. Instead, it all has to do with our expectations - what we want and what we don't want. Instead of seeing the reality in front of us, we constantly dream up what we want for ourselves (or don't want) and try to manipulate the world to make that happen. As a result, we spend most of our energy fighting for what we think is "right for us" instead of living the reality of "what is." 

I took a class earlier this spring that also emphasized this point of not having an opinion. The class leader kept saying that what others do/say/don't do is none of our business. We get ourselves into emotional, spiritual, and physical trouble when we spend our energy on things out of our control. By judging others or forming and expressing opinions, we are not accepting life as it is and live instead in discontent. We are left feeling slighted because things aren't going the way we want them to go. If we choose not to engage our minds in the practice of creating all of our wants and not-wants, we might enjoy life a whole lot more because it won't be disappointing. 

Shutting off our desires in life feels rather tricky, but I realize the trade-off is gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. We are complete just as we are. We don't need anything more or less than what we have. Michael Singer encouraged listeners to recognize our mind at work and relax the body when we start conjuring up our wants. By just making this first shift, we can see how much our mind wants to control life. I have a feeling I will be in this stage of discovery for a while, but I'm willing to work at it. Peace of mind and heart are at stake. 

What do you think about living your life without wants or not-wants? Would that bring more contentment to your life?​

What do you mean I can only pay cash?

1/31/2022

 
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​My husband and I have been taking a wealth management class through our church, and one of the expectations is that you pay with cash to feel your money leaving your hands. Unfortunately, it's too easy to swipe a card and move on with your day. So we are trading the convenience of a credit or debit card for the more tactical experience of counting and handing over bills. 

This change in our money habits has forced us to look at our spending patterns. Why do we feel the pull to spend? What triggers us? Is it hunger? Boredom? Jealousy? Behind our habits lie our emotions. And how are we coping these days? It's worthy of an investigation.  

I encourage you to take any area of your life that you feel may need improvement. What might be the trigger for the behavior you want to change? How might you support that need inside you in a more healthy way? 

Can't sleep?

1/26/2022

 
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I know many of my teacher friends lie awake at night with ruminating thoughts. It's easy to do because it is often the first time we are still. I used to be that way too, but luckily, I have found a way to calm my mind and fall asleep more quickly. So, if you are tired of staying up late overthinking everything, here are a couple of things to try that have worked for me. 
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  • Sit down and write it all out - every little thing on your mind. I call it my "mind dump." I've found that it works best for me in the morning, but I will get up and write if I am having trouble falling asleep. It doesn't matter whether you hand-write or type on a computer. The whole idea is to get your thoughts out. I have found that this activity helps me consolidate my thinking, make decisions, and take action in my day with more confidence. 
  • This next tip is a shortcut, but I have found the Sleepy CBD gummies from Winged Wellness to work wonders for me. About half an hour after I take a gummy, my body feels a little heavy, like I have a warm blanket on me. My mind slows down and I can easily fall asleep. I never feel groggy in the morning. 

Losing sleep because you are stressing about school is never fun. I've been there. By trying out these tips, I hope you can find an easier downshift at the end of the day. 

Has Your Partner Become More Like a Roommate? 4 Ways to Reconnect

9/28/2021

 
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As someone in the education world, I have experienced first-hand the long hours, juggling of home and school responsibilities, and failed attempts at self-care. As a result, work can easily take priority even when it shouldn't. And our family members and especially partners can become like strangers to us. 

One way to support our well-being is to focus on feeding our relationships. Instead of assuming that our partner understands that we are stressed and too busy to spend time with them, it is vital to make an effort in even small ways to stay connected. By nurturing our most precious relationships, we not only help to meet our own emotional needs, but we support the "we-ness" of the relationship that we hold most dear. 

Here are 4 ways to reconnect with that most special person in your life:

  1. Show Appreciation
I know, I know. It would be nice if they would show appreciation for all that you do. But if neither one of you make an effort to voice gratitude, it won't ever happen. So model these words of recognition and thanksgiving for your partner, and you may find more of those supportive comments returning to you. Aim for two sentences when showing appreciation - one sentence to give thanks and another to explain why you appreciate the action. For example, "Thank you for taking the trash out. I was worried that it was going to stink up the kitchen." "Thank you for making dinner. It's nice to be able to come home from work and know that I can enjoy family time without jumping into another task." 

   2. Go Back to the Beginning 
Think back to when you first started spending time together. What were some of your shared activities? Did you have a favorite show that you binge-watched? Did you go hiking at a nearby park? How might you re-introduce some of those activities that you used to do? That rekindling of "us" as an entity can help to bring you both back to the foundation of your relationship. What makes your relationship unique, and how do you live that out together? 

   3. Slow Down

It is easy to get caught up in our rat race to the point that we are running through our day in a blur. By slowing down our movements and words, we can be more intentional about connecting with our loved ones. We need to set our egos aside and recognize that these people deserve our attention. Intentionally locking eyes with your partner shows them you are present and that you SEE them. Isn't that what we all want? To be seen? Show them they are worthy of your attention by slowing your body down.

   4. Touch

As humans, we require touch. Start with small gestures - a hand on an arm or leg, wiping a crumb off their chin. These movements say, "I care about you." Of course, hugs and kisses are lovely as well, but if you have had a "dry spell" lately, permit yourself to start small. As you reconnect with your partner, intimacy will become easier. 


What will you do today to shift your relationship?

Take It Outside

9/13/2021

 
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Nature is a healer - we know that. But did you know that our bodies respond positively to even a short time outdoors? Just FIVE minutes in a natural setting can reap benefits! Here are some ideas on how to make this happen in your world:
  • Park far away from your school's entrance and walk slowly to and from your car, taking in the sights.
  • After you eat lunch, take a walk around the periphery of the school building. It's great for your digestive system and you get fresh air!
  • Walk & talk team meeting?  Is it possible to move some agenda items to a "walk & talk" portion outside? 
  • Alfresco lunch, anyone?
  • Take an after-school walk for yourself to reflect on the day and transition yourself to your home life. 
For more info on nature as a healer, check out this article from Psychology Today. 

What is most important to me?

9/1/2021

 
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As we return back to school, we find ourselves battling various crises - of health, weather, financial, personal, etc. But in the midst of crises, we have the opportunity to stop the swirl and ask ourselves "what is most important to me?" A crisis forces us to decide which way we will go, how we will grow, and who we will become.  What is most important to you these days? 

Your feelings, needs, and desires matter

1/1/2021

 
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When the going gets rough, I sometimes fall silent. After a barrage of disappointing news, I can shut myself down with the belief that my thoughts or ideas won't make a difference. Take the pandemic. It feels huge and out of control. What impact can little ol' me make? I might as well curl up into a ball until it is all over. 


This thought pattern is one that I often see among my teaching colleagues - not that they don't believe they can make a difference with students. They are all about that! But when it comes to school systems and processes, they make themselves small. But the fact is that they have a unique perspective on how these systems play out in the classroom. They can articulate the consequences of decisions made by the higher-ups because they are living it.  


This is no time to make ourselves small. We can't just "go along for the ride" because our voices and perspectives matter. As we move into 2021, I encourage all of us to speak up and share how building and district decisions impact our students and us.



  • Describe the reality of virtual/hybrid/in-person teaching during a pandemic.
  • Ask for the resources you need to feel safe and effective.
  • Offer suggestions for ways we can best serve the needs of our students.


How will you honor your needs and be heard in 2021?

The Importance of Touch

10/1/2020

 
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"To touch can be to give life." Michelangelo

Our pandemic lives are exacerbating the touch-deficit that exists in our Western culture. For safety, we have to give each other space, cover up, and avoid physical touch. But this touch is critical for our emotional and physical health. Touch communicates love, trust, and compassion. It calms us by releasing oxytocin (otherwise known as the "love hormone.") We need each other and need each other's touch more than ever.  

Do you need more touch in your life? While there are no definitive ways to know for sure, here are some symptoms to look for:
  • loneliness
  • low relationship satisfaction
  • anxiety
  • sleep problems

During the month of October, we will be doing a deep dive with all things related to touch in the Tuned In Teachers community. Join us to explore the science of touch and tips on ways you can give and receive more of this form of connection. Go to community.tunedinteachers.com.

Attitude: A Different kind of virus

8/20/2020

 
Published on Medium.  Click HERE to access.

How to cope with the unknown

7/6/2020

 
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Schools are releasing their "Return to Learn" plans across the country, but let me give you a "heads up" - these plans will most likely change. They may change multiple times before the first official day of school due to spikes in cases, falling or increasing student enrollment, or other factors. This is unsettling for parents, students, and teachers. So, what do we do? How do we cope when we don't know what the school year will look like?

  1. Remember that we all have difficulties in our lives. We aren't guaranteed lives without struggle. Many teachers prepare for the school year far in advance so that the start can be a smooth process. When we don't know what it will look like, it makes it impossible to prepare! While we may crave control, we need to accept that this resistance is a part of our lives right now. And we will get through it by doing the best we can with the situation. Trust yourself to do your best with every possibility.
  2. We happen to be experiencing this Covid-19 hurdle together, which means - you are not alone! Seize the opportunities for togetherness.  Some benefits of social interaction include: ​​                                                                                                                                     *better mental health                                                                                                      *increased sense of safety & belonging                                                                           *improved brain health                                                                                                                    Take time to reach out to the people you love. Send a text, schedule a Zoom call, or meet up on the front lawn with your most fashionable masks. Lean on the people around you - physically & virtually. It's good for your soul!
  3. Regain control with routines. We can only control what we can control, right? So keep up with your regular eating, sleeping, and movement routines. Now is probably not the time to re-create those college days of late-night pizza and sleeping until 11am. Your body and mind will thrive with healthy routines.  And for heaven's sake, take a shower!
  4. Be kind to yourself. You can't operate as if there isn't a pandemic. Even if it may be tempting, please don't push it away. Acknowledge it and your feelings that surround it. Take time to write them down in a journal. This purging of thoughts and feelings helps us to "name it, cope with it, and move on" with a healthier focus for our days. The internal challenge is to give yourself some grace. Recognize when you are saying negative/stressful comments and help yourself to be more kind with self-talk. Talk sweetly to yourself, "I believe in you. Keep going."

How else do you deal with the unknown? 



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    ​~Emily Johnson

    Dedicated to helping my teacher colleagues find success at home and school in order to live a more meaningful life!

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