 As someone in the education world, I have experienced first-hand the long hours, juggling of home and school responsibilities, and failed attempts at self-care. As a result, work can easily take priority even when it shouldn't. And our family members and especially partners can become like strangers to us.
One way to support our well-being is to focus on feeding our relationships. Instead of assuming that our partner understands that we are stressed and too busy to spend time with them, it is vital to make an effort in even small ways to stay connected. By nurturing our most precious relationships, we not only help to meet our own emotional needs, but we support the "we-ness" of the relationship that we hold most dear. Here are 4 ways to reconnect with that most special person in your life:
2. Go Back to the Beginning Think back to when you first started spending time together. What were some of your shared activities? Did you have a favorite show that you binge-watched? Did you go hiking at a nearby park? How might you re-introduce some of those activities that you used to do? That rekindling of "us" as an entity can help to bring you both back to the foundation of your relationship. What makes your relationship unique, and how do you live that out together? 3. Slow Down It is easy to get caught up in our rat race to the point that we are running through our day in a blur. By slowing down our movements and words, we can be more intentional about connecting with our loved ones. We need to set our egos aside and recognize that these people deserve our attention. Intentionally locking eyes with your partner shows them you are present and that you SEE them. Isn't that what we all want? To be seen? Show them they are worthy of your attention by slowing your body down. 4. Touch As humans, we require touch. Start with small gestures - a hand on an arm or leg, wiping a crumb off their chin. These movements say, "I care about you." Of course, hugs and kisses are lovely as well, but if you have had a "dry spell" lately, permit yourself to start small. As you reconnect with your partner, intimacy will become easier. What will you do today to shift your relationship?  Nature is a healer - we know that. But did you know that our bodies respond positively to even a short time outdoors? Just FIVE minutes in a natural setting can reap benefits! Here are some ideas on how to make this happen in your world:
 As we return back to school, we find ourselves battling various crises - of health, weather, financial, personal, etc. But in the midst of crises, we have the opportunity to stop the swirl and ask ourselves "what is most important to me?" A crisis forces us to decide which way we will go, how we will grow, and who we will become. What is most important to you these days?
 When the going gets rough, I sometimes fall silent. After a barrage of disappointing news, I can shut myself down with the belief that my thoughts or ideas won't make a difference. Take the pandemic. It feels huge and out of control. What impact can little ol' me make? I might as well curl up into a ball until it is all over.
This thought pattern is one that I often see among my teaching colleagues - not that they don't believe they can make a difference with students. They are all about that! But when it comes to school systems and processes, they make themselves small. But the fact is that they have a unique perspective on how these systems play out in the classroom. They can articulate the consequences of decisions made by the higher-ups because they are living it. This is no time to make ourselves small. We can't just "go along for the ride" because our voices and perspectives matter. As we move into 2021, I encourage all of us to speak up and share how building and district decisions impact our students and us.
How will you honor your needs and be heard in 2021?  "To touch can be to give life." Michelangelo
Our pandemic lives are exacerbating the touch-deficit that exists in our Western culture. For safety, we have to give each other space, cover up, and avoid physical touch. But this touch is critical for our emotional and physical health. Touch communicates love, trust, and compassion. It calms us by releasing oxytocin (otherwise known as the "love hormone.") We need each other and need each other's touch more than ever. Do you need more touch in your life? While there are no definitive ways to know for sure, here are some symptoms to look for:
During the month of October, we will be doing a deep dive with all things related to touch in the Tuned In Teachers community. Join us to explore the science of touch and tips on ways you can give and receive more of this form of connection. Go to community.tunedinteachers.com.  Schools are releasing their "Return to Learn" plans across the country, but let me give you a "heads up" - these plans will most likely change. They may change multiple times before the first official day of school due to spikes in cases, falling or increasing student enrollment, or other factors. This is unsettling for parents, students, and teachers. So, what do we do? How do we cope when we don't know what the school year will look like?
How else do you deal with the unknown? I recently listened to a talk given by Dr. Kelly McGonigal where she shares research on how we view stress and the subsequent impact that view has on our bodies. If we fear stress and try to avoid it, our bodies will react to that fear negatively. If we see stress as an opportunity to challenge ourselves, we activate the joyful parts of our brain that boost our resilience and help to maintain good health. The COVID-19 pandemic is not letting up and being overwhelmed easily, I'm naturally turning to the fear of stress. While I take some comfort in knowing I'm not alone in this crisis, this is not enough to ease my anxious mind. I find Dr. McGonigal's chart below helpful in revisiting how I'm narrating my experiences. How might I change my view of the circumstances to see the challenges we face as growth opportunities? This question is the challenge that I am giving myself as we continue to explore our next steps as a nation.   What would "school" be like if teachers were available online year-round like they are now?
I recently chatted with a teacher who is considering leaving her online classroom open after the school year ends as a lifeline for her students. She's seen too much of their home-lives on camera and wants the classroom community to be available to them. As of late, I've been doing a lot of thinking about "school" as a physical space with designated times. Almost every day during quarantine, I have taken a walk past my child's school and have been surprised to see students coming to visit the building. They stand in front of the main entrance with big smiles and ask a parent to take a picture. It's surreal. The building calls them even when the doors are locked. Can "school" have the same sense of belonging in a virtual space? Video calls from inside the home can be humanizing for students and teachers. It removes the hierarchy in the classroom since we are all sitting down in front of our computers. We see the personal touches of photographs, posters, artwork, and even a pet enter the frame. And in my teacher friend's case, she can see that not all of her students live in conditions that are conducive for learning. She is better able to meet her students exactly where they are. Can online classrooms serve students in new and different ways? Or is the physical building where students thrive? Is there a place for both in supporting students without overloading teachers? What are your thoughts?  We have been given the gift of a sacred pause. Now is the time for us to choose how we will respond to this time for reflection. Will we tune in to ourselves and our family members, or will we continue to ignore or push away the feelings we are afraid to feel?
As it is right now, our jobs are safe. We may be on a hiatus or teaching online, but we can find relief in that we are still earning income. Others in our country are not so lucky. So what is the work of this time at home? That is up to us to decide. How can we come into awareness? Here are some ideas:
How are you taking advantage of this gift of pause? |
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